Sugar and Spice...

"What are little boys made of?
Snips and Snails and puppy dog tails.
That's what little boys are made of.
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and Spice and all things nice.
That's what little girls are made of"

The last couple of weeks I have been thinking a great deal about the differences between the rich and poor, adult and teenager, and girls and boys. In our ministry we are very blessed to have a group of young people that are well off, that have enough to eat, and have the ability to study and learn a trade for themselves. Our teens are well enough educated and have a lot of opportunity in their life, so when these two aspects are dealt with, what is left of them that they might need help with? Sometimes it is easy to look at our youth and think how lucky they are, it is too easy to assume that their attitudes are based on arrogance, and that as they NEED for nothing (material) that they must not NEED for anything. This is so far from the truth. 

It has been somewhat a learning curve for me to be involved in ministries where the immediate needs aren't material. Food, Education, Shelter, Sanitation. It was almost too easy to help people like that. You find yourself in a position where you can make a direct impact in a meaningful way on people's lives, and to show them the love that Jesus has for them. And to come from that into a situation where the needs are much more hidden and much more emotional and thus harder to fill - This has been the challenge.

Many have a view of student ministry as something where you have activities and games and throw in a talk about Jesus, and I have been trying to work on this paradigm, but although it has it's merits, it isn't as effective as it could be deemed to be. The biggest need of our particular set of youth is not food, sanitation, education. It is attention, boredom and emotional crisis. Our youth need to feel needed. They need to feel wanted, they need to feel accepted, and above all they need Jesus.

The other thing that they need is to be recognized for their basic differences. We live in a culture where equality is very important (and I come from a society that expects women and men to react and be exactly the same), and I have begun to notice that instead of fulfilling the needs to of the youth this has pushed them to the edge of a scary and complicated place. Girls are expected to be as sexually needy as boys, and to not to be held back about it. Even though the chemicals that they are biologically working are completely different in relation to this. Boy are put under pressure to be interested in looking a certain way and being more conscious of mainstream trends. Both are treated like children, but expected to act like adults. 

In order to tackle our ministry in the way that is Edifying to God, that brings the gospel into the lives of the Youth and looks to take care of their needs, we NEED to be able to recognize these differences and build our programme on that basis. What this means is a little more theoretical. But I am looking to put it into practice. Help me, and help them. 

Ems

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3002946.stm

From the Guardian

Today's youth: anxious, depressed, anti-social

Three-generation survey reveals sharp decline in teenage mental health

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• Madeleine Bunting
• The Guardian, Monday 13 September 2004 18.42 BST

The mental health of teenagers has sharply declined in the last 25 years and the chances that 15-year-olds will have behavioural problems such as lying, stealing and being disobedient, have more than doubled.

The rate of emotional problems such as anxiety and depression has increased by 70% among adolescents, according to the biggest time trend study conducted in Britain.

Boys are more likely to exhibit behavioural problems and girls are more likely to suffer emotional problems. The rate is higher for emotional problems, now running at one in five of 15-year-old girls. The study found no increase in aggressive behaviour, such as fighting and bullying, and no increase in rates of hyperactivity.

The study looked at three generations of 15-year-olds, in 1974, 1986 and 1999. Behavioural problems increased over the whole period, while emotional problems were stable until 1986 and have subsequently shot up. The increases cannot be explained by the rise in divorce and single parenthood, argues the team of researchers, because they found comparable increases in all types of families, although there is a higher rate of adolescent mental health problems in single-parent families.

Nor can growing inequality over the 25 years explain the rise in problem teenagers because rates of increase were comparable in all social classes. There was no difference between white and ethnic minority teenagers.

The research found that the rising rate of 15-year-olds with behavioural problems correlated to their increased chances of experiencing a range of poor outcomes as adults, such as homelessness, being sacked, dependency on benefits and poor mental and physical health. This indicated that the rise in problems cannot be attributed to a greater likelihood to report them.

The deterioration of adolescents' mental health in Britain is in contrast to the findings of research in the US which showed that a comparable decline tailed off in the 90s, while in Holland, there was no decline at all.

The study, Time Trends in Adolescent Mental Health, to be published in the Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry in November, is the first to provide evidence in support of the increasing concern from parents and teachers about the welfare of teenagers.

The research conducted by a team from the Institute of Psychiatry, King's College London, and the University of Manchester, provides specific evidence for Britain which is in line with the World Health Organisation's warning last year that the fastest-growing mental health problem in the world, and particularly in the developed world, was among adolescents. "We are doing something peculiarly unhelpful for adolescent mental health in Britain," said Sharon Witherspoon, deputy director of the Nuffield Foundation which funded the research. "This is not a trend which is being driven by a small number of kids who are getting worse. It is not a small tail pulling down the average but a more widespread malaise."

"The route people take to adulthood has become much more difficult with the pressure on for qualifications," said John Coleman, director of the Trust for the Study of Adolescence. "When young people are faced with all these choices, they say they have to 'make it up as they go along'."

The study was not focused on the most serious cases such as suicide and self-harm where other recent studies have shown significant increases, but the more general experience of adolescents which is less likely to reach the point of needing professional intervention.

The findings are likely to fuel debates about how we are raising our children and whether they reflect parenting in early years or are linked to Britain's secondary education system with its emphasis on academic achievement, and poor record of out of school activities.

A recent survey showed that discipline in secondary schools comes ahead of funding as parents' greatest concern.

Next month, the Tomlinson report into 14-19 year-old education and training - commissioned by the Department for Education and Skills - is due to be published; a green paper on youth services is also expected this autumn.

The study did not look into possible causes, which are to be the subject of further research.

Also subject to further research is whether there has been a comparable rise in emotional and behavioural disorders among younger age groups or whether this is a specific problem in adolescence.

Recruitment on the GO- 2013 Drive

It is exciting to know, that we weren't able to have the bus on last week, because so many of our volunteers were taking part in a conference aimed at recharging them spiritually. This is such an encouraging reason (and not that they were away watching the rugby) that it gave me reason to be thankful. It also gave me a chance to spend some time with the girls. Jennifer and I took them out to see 'Here comes the Boom', which is decidedly more of a boy's kind of film, but the girls had a really good time, and, I think, were just very thankful to have someone organize some kind of activity for them. So Praise God for another great weekend, and chance for a large part of your guys to meet with each other and learn from each other, and for Jennifer and I to have a chance to meet-up and build relationships with the girls.

It has left me thinking a little bit about the different cliques in the bus, and how we can try to build the groups into something a little bigger. Whenever I suggest an activity, it is very often the same people who are willing to do it, and excited to come out. And I am trying to think of ways to try to get more people excited about getting together, and meeting up outside of the bus.I think that this requires us to have more people actively involved with coming up with ideas, suggestions, plans that could be put into practice. Boy's respond better to boys, and girls to girls, etc, but each then like to have the other at their events. So I am devoting some time thinking of different activities that we could take our Youth too, inexpensive, simple, and if you have ideas please let me know. But aside from this, it is important that people come along to build the ever necessary relationships as well...which brings me to my next point. I think now is a good time to start looking for new volunteers. We are indeed in need of a couple of fresh faces: Here is something that I was reading in Youth Leader training ON THE GO (surprisingly also by Doug Fields) Direct quote:

" The truth about your volunteer team is that effectiveness of your ministry is limited to it's capacity to care for students. The more people praying, serving, and cheering your ministry on, the deeper it will be. While all this sounds great, it's not easy.

In order to have enough people to adequately care for students, everyone must get involved in recruiting for your volunteer team. Everyone should be committed to recruiting volunteers. The more people looking for potential leaders the better.

When you consider who would make a good volunteer, I would challenge you to rethink your ideal candidate. A youth ministry tends to attract students whom volunteers can care for. For instance, if my adult youth ministry team were filled with ex-athletes, chances are good that the majority of our students would be athletes. But because everyone needs Christ, your volunteer team should reflect what you want to attract. You want variety in your volunteers to attract a variety of teenagers. Anyone who loves Jesus and students can be a useful player on your team.

In my opinion, it's an unfair stereotype that the best youth leaders are young. Actually, many of the volunteers on my team have children who have already graduated from college. Some of my best volunteers are grandparents because they ave life experiences helpful for dealing with teenagers and they have more time. They know how to work with parents, and they've had more experience with pain. While painful pasts may disqualify many from ministry, I believe a painful past actually helps youth leaders  When I know a student is experiencing great pain, I want to connect the student with a volunteer who has been delivered and healed from a similar situation, and that is usually an older adult. My point is that younger is not better. BETTER is better.

At some point, you might assist your lead youth worker by asking people within your church to join your volunteer team. Be ready and willing to invite some to check out serving in our ministry at any time. You might be looking for people at a Bible Study, a church, service,or in line for coffee after church. The thin to remember about "making the ask" is that everyone you come in contact with is a potential youth ministry volunteer. When potential volunteers are personally invited by a church per (as opposed to the professional -that is a paid minister), the chance for accepting the invitation increases..."

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. AS the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8-9

Only two Commandments to Follow.

John 15:4 : Abide in me and I will abide in you, but apart from me, you can do nothing.

This week, I have been away in France and took four books with me, the first was Don Millers Searching for God Knows What (I DEEPLY recommend that you pick up either Don Millers Blue Like Jazz or this one to read. They are short books that are completely unassuming, looking at questions of faith in everyday life), Doug Fields: Your first two years in youth ministry, the Bible, and John le Carre's Wanted Man.  And quite obviously the one that got the most face time with me, was the Wanted Man. When I did get around to opening Doug Fields book, the chapter that I opened it up too, since my last read of it, was the chapter on the importance of a youth worker/volunteers spiritual life and I thought that I would share with you the things that I learned from it:

The number one important point in the chapter was that we have to value our spiritual lives, or our contribution will eventually be sidelined. That we need to be spiritually healthy individuals in order to be able to contribute to the spiritual growth of the young people. We seem increasingly busy doing God's work, rather than BEING God's people.  We allow our service, our planning, our control loving natures get the better of us.

When Jesus was asked what the most important commandment of the bible was he replied:

Matthew 22:36-39

³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’

Faithfulness to this first command will result in natural obedience to the second. Our relationship with God IS our ministry, and it is this that comes pouring out of us into the areas that we serve in. It doesn't have to be on the bus, but can be in our homes, in our places of work, or in our churches.

Some once told me that what moved them most about the American Civil Rights movement was when Martin Luther King Jnr said that of the 10 commandments, we wouldn't need the other 8 if we simply followed the first two. He was a great teacher, and he understood that putting your worship of God at the centre of your life was more important than all the doing and going, and fixing, and jumping, and playing and planning and on into infinity, that we could imagine. We were saved by grace and not by our deeds, so we need to learn to live in and praise this grace rather than try to make up for it. We enjoy being in control, our culture very much is about this, but we have to give control to God.

I have noted a couple of questions from the book that were challenging to me, and then some suggestions on how you can have variety in your spirituality that may give you some new life to it. We all have times that we feel close to God, on fire for his purpose, but all of us also know the mundane everyday existence where it is easy to simply go from one activity to another without engaging your heart in it. So, this is my challenge to you, try a couple of new things out and see if God speaks to you in new ways.

1. What external, spiritual acts do I value as signs of someone being spiritually mature?

2.Am I aware of the warning signs that lead to spiritual disconnect?

3. What keeps me from being consistent in my time with God?

Suggestions for your 'quiet times'[i]

-Journal about a meaningful bible passage, what are the implications in your life?

-Meditate on a single verse or phrase and consider what it means to you now.

-Seek extended solitude. Be still and listen to God. Don't pray. Simply be quiet and write down what comes into your mind.

-Journal about your life. Examine yesterday's actions. Did you miss what God may have been trying to teach you.

-Read a large portion of your Bible quickly.  Don't stop to think about every verse. Treat it like a story.

-Read a small portion of God's Word and carefully digest each verse.

-Sing.

- Write your prayers to God in a journal.

-Read from a translation or paraphrase that you haven't read from before.

-Write down life lessons that you've learned recently.

---

[i] Taken from Doug Fields, Your First Two Years in Student Ministry, Youth Specialities, 2002.

Christ in Jersey?

   Last week, we were unexpectedly quite busy on the bus. With the first of the winter rains starting and the October holidays, I guess I expected that only a couple of our die-harders would come. But by the grace of God I was proven wrong, and we had a pretty full bus with a lot of unexpected people, as well as a good lot of our first years who really enjoyed the basic games and activities. It just goes to show that the influence of the bus in the community of boredom is significant. Older youth come on to escape the rain and to have a place to hang out with their friends, and the younger guys come to be entertained. The opportunities, therefore, are limitless.

   But, then question goes, HOW to make the most of these opportunities? Youth ministry is like a delicate mixture of theology, psychology, physical education, counselling  entertainment, party planning and probably a good amount more of subjects that we don't have degrees in and so at times (read always) it is all a little over-whelming and it's hard to know where to start.

   This week I have been reading about engaging in the culture that you are ministering too, this was mainly to do with several talks that I am doing at a missions conference in a couple of weeks and I am looking at the importance of missionaries to cross over and understand the culture of the people group that they are hoping to serve, and it clicked that in fact this it is the same when working with youth. I will be the first to admit that music is not getting better, it is in fact deteriorating in depth and quality quite rapidly, and television programmes that are being watched by the youth (mainly pseudo-reality tv) is so cheap to make that it has taken over most of the channels on my television, and don't even get me started with fashion. I didn't even realise that shorts could get any tighter or shorter, or that there was such a diverse pallet of colours that trousers could come in, BUT, judging it by the standards of my childhood (which wasn't all that long ago) isn't helpful, nor will it make me a popular person to talk too in our youth community. Thus I have this week taken on a challenge to be more 'relevant'. No, I didn't buy new clothes or cd's, but by trying to understand what our youth enjoy listening too/watching/playing, I am able to find the things in it that point too (and in some ways, away from) God, and in this way we are able too, in a culturally sensitive way, find the most poignant examples of Christ (and common grace) that is already in their own lives, and hopefully this will help them understand the gospel better.

I also stumbled across something that a young person had written to his youth leader, and thought that it was a good idea to copy it in here:

"Students are looking for someone who will accept them for who they are and love them through their struggles. Students in our culture are struggling with addictions, relationships and faith. They need youth leaders who will spend less time judging them and spending more time loving them with Christ-centered love. Don't get me wrong, we don't have to approve of their sin, but we need to hate the sin so much, we need to love them in such a way as to help them overcome whatever it is in their lie. I am always encouraging youth leaders not to be afraid to get down and dirt with their student's struggles. Students need youth leaders who will do just that".

http://www.youthleadersacademy.com/need-youth-leaders/#more-112

Romans 12:8: If it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Heart Check!

Zeal without knowledge is not good; a person who moves too quickly may go the wrong way. (Proverbs 9:2 NLT)

 The building of a healthy, happy and fruitful youth ministry takes time, patience and wisdom, it won't happen just because we decide that we want it to happen. This is probably the first lesson that we are going to learn trying to run the Youth Bus. One of the first things that as volunteers and workers, we have to get right, is our hearts. God knows what is in our hearts, do we? It is important when working with young people (or anyone for that matter) that we consider and examine our motives and hearts often. God honours pure motives, and if our motives are pure then this will lead to strengthening of our ministry. If our motives are right, then we are searching for God's guidance in our ministry, and God will be in the center of our decision making. This will lead to fruit. Our natural tendency is to try to take over situations, to control them, plan them well, colour situations with our perspectives and our ideas and considerations. This isn't completely wrong, but if done without prayer and seeking God's guidance we are working completely off of our own strengths, which are finite. Especially when it's cold.

 Below are some questions that you might like to consider, when considering your hearts position and your dependence on God:
 1.Why is dependence on God important for the leaders and volunteers involved in the Youth Bus ministry?      How will it affect our Ministry?

 2.Do you find it easier to do? and work through actions? Instead of being? What does this mean to you?

 3. Is your life busy? What three areas take up most of your time? What is the greatest barrier you face that keeps you from spending time with God?

 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NTL)

      For the next three weeks on the Bus, our talks are going to revolve around Micah 6:8
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly[a] with your God.

 Last week when this passage was considered with the young people, they didn't know the deeper meanings of the key words of the passage. So this week we are talking about Justice, next week about Mercy or Kindness and the third week about Humility. So take some time to think about what Justice means to you, and see if you can start some discussions about it.

 God Bless and hope the rest of the week remains Sunny.
 Ems

Youth Work 10 commands (Borrowed) :D

1. Thou shalt not be easily angered or wound up, especially when Gary asks you for the tenth time why there aren't any Snickers in the tuck shop this week. 2. Thou shalt not try to pass yourself off as cool and 'in touch' by the wearing of unsuitable fashion like that Taio Cruz T-shirt you thought would impress everyone. You're 52 years old, get over it. 3. Thou shalt not ask endless questions since that's the job of parents and is very annoying if you're 15. 4. Thou shalt not pretend to like stuff you don't, as in "Yeah, I love Rachel from Glee too" as it's painfully obvious to anyone that you couldn't pick them out from a line up if your life depended on it. 5. Thou shalt not try and turn every conversation into an evangelistic opportunity since the link between winning at Connect 4 and finding salvation is tenuous at best. 6. Thou shalt get involved in everything with enthusiasm and be prepared to play, have fun and occasionally be silly. Standing at the side and watching when games are being played is not good. 7. Thou shalt be honest about your own faith, including the bits where it turns out you're not exactly perfect and yes, sometimes you have doubts too. 8. Thou shalt remember a young person's name when they tell it you since it's hard to believe you really care if you can't even get that right. 9. Thou shalt listen and make teenagers feel like you actually interested in them as a person without butting in with your own stories all the time. 10. Thou shalt pray like crazy for the wisdom, compassion and energy you'll need to be a youth worker and remind yourself daily that it's about as great a privilege as you'll get in this lifetime to hang out with these young people. http://www.youthwork-magazine.co.uk/main/article/10commandments